the blog of a life-time

the rants that saved my life

Saturday, May 24, 2003

matt and i made curtains for our bedroom this arvo!!


they look really really good!

i'm very pleased with myself.

do you ever find that when you have too much to say you can't say anything?

i have that at the moment....and the last few days

It's driving me mental.

but firstly i'd like to alk about my hair.

its getting really really long. and surpisingly its in pretty good condition....like no split ends or anything.
I quite like the colour of it too...and for the first time in about 12 years i have natural hair colour...except some highlights in the bottom half from hair-do's of a time gone by.

but i kinda want to colour it. not for a good reason like - i'd like to have black hair...but as a vain attempt to change my attitude to life.

you know that saying ' a change is as good as a holiday' well for me and a lot of girls, if you're unhappy about something you just cut or colour your hair...nad if you're really unhappy, both.

i want to dye it all black....and then bleach the tips and a bit in the front.

but this will cost me about $160 and take about 4-5 hours.

money i can scrape together but i don't know if i really want to spend it on hair colour.

i wonder if the hair school place on elizabeth st is cheaper?

hmmm will try there

but then i still have to deal with the possibility that having new hair won't make me happier.

(a small confesion i am going t hide in the midle of this dribble is that i am in LOVE with justin timberlake!!!)


but i know why i'm all fucked up. its all stupid fleur's fault

why is she being such a dickhead?

i'm so angry and upset and confused and all i do is try and think of ways to fix the predictament that i seem to find mysefl in....and i don't even know if its my fault or not?!?

i mean i did do the thing she was so upset about...but i didn't do it maliciously and i certainly didn't think it was anything to be upset about....so why did she spack it?

was she drunk? which is a definate possiblity

she makes it impossle to be her friend sometimes. she always actively sabotages her relationships.

its mh like the way i keep not being able to study anything without my paralyzing fear of failure getting the better of me and dropping out before i ever have to prove myself or finish anything.

it terrifies me. and it really fucks me up.

i hate it. but i think i'm too smart for all the psych types i've ever seen to try and sort it out...i don't know....maybe i just need to find the right one...

but anyway the rant i'll get back to is about how a certain person continuously bitches about all her friends and b/f's...its like our sport.

if bitching and gossiping was an olympic sport...gold medals would be ours.

i understand where she's coming from....heartache and fear of loss...more than most ppl for sure....so that's why you take the package as it comes to you and work with what you've ben given.

i don't care that she has these issues..in fact its what makes her worth knowing....gives her strength and a fighting spirit..makes her adventerous...

but she lies to my face all the time...but know when she's lying and i just mke allowances. i fgure there must be pain there or else why bother with the lying.

and all this makes her and me sound like a bunch of stupids...why would i even want a friend like her if this is all the crap that goes aong with it?

its a good question!

i mean i don't really need the stress of it in my day to day

i have other friends.. who are fucking awesome and that i adore. and i have Matt too....who depsite my grumblings i could not imagine living without.

so what is my problem?

why do i care ?

i'm so sick of thinking about it all the time.

sick to fuck of dreaming about it.

so i think i'm going to just have tto let it go.

but should i try and make an effort to sort it out?

but then why should i be the one??

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i quit





Friday, May 23, 2003

you have totally got to check out this link. hilarious recipe cards

Thursday, May 22, 2003

HERE IS HAM-SANDWICH'S THINGO....ITS FUNNY COZ I WAS GOING TO WRITE EXACTLY THE SAME THING ABOUT THE SUMMER/WINTER THING

ITS SO TRUE....BUT THEN I JUST SAID SPRING INSTEAD.
BUT WHICH CAR HAD THE -NKOTB- TAPE STUCK IN THE DECK????


Here's what you're supposed to do:
=========================
1. Copy (not forward) this e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send
2. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.
3. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little facts about your friends. Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to you.
HAVE YOU EVER ---------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out:
Not knowingly
* Put a body part on fire for amusement:
Boots went on fire once
* Been in a car accident:
nope
* Kept a secret from everyone:
yes
* Had an imaginary friend:
nope
* Wanted to hook up with a friend:
yes
* Cried during a Movie:
Once or twice
* Had a crush on a teacher:
Not MY teacher but an English teacher at uni whose name I can’t remember.. She’s an author... Ummmmm.... I could find out.
* Ever thought an animated character was hot:
nahhh
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape:
Yes, it was permenantly in my car stereo (because it would not come out)
* Cut your hair:
Yep about 6 weeks ago
--------- FAVOURITES ---------
* Shampoo:
Its all the devils work. Strictly conditioner only.
* Eye Colour:
greenish
* Summer/Winter
Winter if I live in perth, summer if in melbourne.
* Lace or satin:
lace
* Cartoon Characters:
The bondage fairies
* Food:
I just made lentil pasta which was damn fine
* Fave Advert:
e4rrrrr,... The hahn light ad has a cool chick in it..
* Fave Film:
yes too hard to choose. I did like Preaching to the Perverted though.
* Fave Subjects:
cognitive neuroscience, abnormal psychology, physics
--------- RIGHT NOW
* Wearing:
pin striped pants, black bonds t-shirt, socks
* Drinking:
beer
* Thinking about:
Lunch date next Friday: would I?
* Listening to:
the tube
--------- IN THE LAST 24 HRS ---------
* Cried:
If this goes on much longer maybe
* Worn a skirt:
No but I wish I had
* Cleaned your room:
yep
* Done laundry:
yes
* Drove a car:
no
>--------- DO YOU BELIEVE IN ---------
* Yourself:
So far the evidence has been irrefutable (pinch), but I’m open to being falsified. Especially by biting. Yes.
* Friends:
same
* Santa Claus:
no
* Tooth Fairy:
nah
* Angels:
Not as in ephemeral whimsy make-believe angels but sometimes people can take on qualities...
* Ghosts:
Actually maybe
--------- FRIENDS AND LIFE ---------
* Who's the weirdest out of your friends:
bloody hell there must be some of them weird.. I cant think. They’re singing spirit in the sky on the telly and it’s interferring with my brain things.
* Who will respond to this e-mail fastest:
Probably no-one
* Who will you send this to who won't respond:
Well the corollary of the above
* Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you:
Er maybe

DAVE....I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU - xxx L

Here's what you're supposed to do:
=========================
1. Copy (not forward) this e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you
will send
2. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.
3. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person
who sent it to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little facts about your friends.
Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to you.

HAVE YOU EVER ---------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: Yes...I think...I can't remember
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: No
* Been in a car accident: No
* Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
* Had an imaginary friend: No
* Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yes
* Cried during a Movie: Yes..."They"...it was so bad, I wasn't allowed to
leave...until I started to cry...
* Had a crush on a teacher: Yes
* Ever thought an animated character was hot: Yes
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: No, but I held one of their tapes. It
hurt.
* Cut your hair: Yes...by meself.


--------- FAVOURITES ---------
* Shampoo: Apple shampoo (not a brand a smell)
* Eye Colour: Hazel (true really green when I am upset)
* Summer/Winter; Winter
* Lace or satin: Satin
* Cartoon Characters: The Beast
* Food: All of it (Laura, when you are surrounded by the food you think you
like the most, a fucking 4'n'20 meat pie is sorely missed)
* Fave Advert: RIAA ad...
* Fave Film: Too many...I can't even think of where to start...Coen Bros,
Scorsese, Pacino, De Niro, Cusack...sort it out yerself. This question is
not fair...
* Fave Subjects: Politics, me, chicks, chick & me, female skin


--------- RIGHT NOW
* Wearing: bossini pants (navy), hugo boss shirt (dark gray), country road
tie (navy), freshly parade glossed 10 hole docs martens
* Drinking: water
* Thinking about: If they'll hunt me down...
* Listening to: one of my 15 remixes of "Crazy English Summer",
Faithless...Dj Aloe I think....next is the Bronksi Beat Megamix


--------- IN THE LAST 24 HRS ---------
* Cried: nah
* Worn a skirt: does 3 hours in a towel count??
* Cleaned your room: some of it
* Done laundry: yes
* Drove a car: NO!!!Waaaaaaaahhhhahahaahaahah


>--------- DO YOU BELIEVE IN ---------
* Yourself: sho nuff
* Friends: sho nuff
* Santa Claus: nah
* Tooth Fairy: nah
* Angels: nah
* Ghosts: nah


--------- FRIENDS AND LIFE ---------
* Who's the weirdest out of your friends: I rank Dicko as the weirdest...as
he is the MOST AUSSIE BLOKE I know
* Who will respond to this e-mail fastest: Dunno
* Who will you send this to who won't respond: Daniel!!
* Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you: Yeah



Here's what you're supposed to do:
=========================
1. Copy (not forward) this e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send
2. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.
3. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little facts about your friends. Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to you.
HAVE YOU EVER ---------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out:
I've been so drunk i spewed....but no black outs
* Put a body part on fire for amusement:
nope...but we did set a pair of converse all-stars on fire once with deodorant
* Been in a car accident:
yeah...but none were serious
* Kept a secret from everyone:
one or two...mostly i get in trouble for not keeping secrets
* Had an imaginary friend:
yeah, i had two Pinni and Rani, but i was only little then
* Wanted to hook up with a friend:
yep
* Cried during a Movie:
a million times
* Had a crush on a teacher:
Mr Rosenthal, my high school biology teacher and a uni psych lecturer...vance loch i think his name was
* Ever thought an animated character was hot:
i have the serious hots for wolverine
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape:
thankfully no.....oh wait, one song on a mix tape...but that doesn't count. does it?
* Cut your hair:
not in the last 2 years, though i did just ask about how much they would charge to colour it $160...what a bloody rip-off. Just one colour, and darker too. dickheads
--------- FAVOURITES ---------
* Shampoo:
this yummy pink bubblegum smelling stuff by davinci
* Eye Colour:
light brown
* Summer/Winter
i quite like spring actually
* Lace or satin:
lace
* Cartoon Characters:
wolverine and rogue
* Food:
vietnamese, japanese...asian in general
* Fave Advert:
i like the one with the little dog is out in the rain and the guy is watching footy and wrapps the dog up in scott towels...its cute
* Fave Film:
too hard to choose..gone with the wind? big blue? Moulin rouge? blabablala
* Fave Subjects:
i enjoy most topics...buffy, human biol, current events and anything conspiracy theory ish
--------- RIGHT NOW
* Wearing:
long black socks, black skirt, black sweater top and a white thermal top under it.
* Drinking:
just finished a glass of cranberry juice
* Thinking about:
whether to eat out or have toasted sandwiches
* Listening to:
the tv, the little cat-dog cartoon is on
--------- IN THE LAST 24 HRS ---------
* Cried:
no
* Worn a skirt:
yes
* Cleaned your room:
hahaha no way
* Done laundry:
yes
* Drove a car:
yes
>--------- DO YOU BELIEVE IN ---------
* Yourself:
sure do
* Friends:
most of them :)
* Santa Claus:
sort of
* Tooth Fairy:
nah
* Angels:
yes
* Ghosts:
yes
--------- FRIENDS AND LIFE ---------
* Who's the weirdest out of your friends:
they're all too nerdy to be weird
* Who will respond to this e-mail fastest:
Dave? depends who needs to procrastinate the most
* Who will you send this to who won't respond:
andrew
* Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you:
should they be so inclined....if you do, i'll post them on my blog

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

THIS IS FOR A LOVELY YOUNG WOMAN BY THE NAME OF VASHTI!

I PROMISED I'D MAKE HER FAMOUS BY MENTIONING HER ON MY QUITE WORLD RE-KNOWN BLOG

we all went to Pony last night, after watching the Bill of course!.

twas most enjoyable.

Hope both Vashti and Emma have a safe trip home tomorrow and that we see you again soon


***(it only occured to me that people might actually be reading my blog last night when Hamish mentioned he had been reading it....so to those of you that aren't me WELCOME TO MY BLOG...it's mostly crap...but it keeps me amused)

check out this other buffy essay site





I found this very interesting thesis about Biological warfare and the Buffy paradigm. click here

i am watching A walk through the clouds.

you know that movie with keanu reeves...

i am loving it.

i know it has been on tv like a million times but i've never really watched it b4.

you know that whole cliche of housewives and day-time television...soaps and the midday movie...

it's weird. Something weird happens during those hours.. you lose the ability to maintain a harsh exterior...

you're at home, in your comfort zone, the house is yours, no-one's around to bother you or to talk to...the puppies are cuddling up, the house work is either half done or put off til just before matt comes home :) you have your comfy house clothes on all is right with the world...

so its very easy to be open to the emotions that are thrown your way.

Now the wankers i refered to the other day...the ones that diss anything that isn't on SBS or a documentary about the plight of political bollox blablabla this is of course if they should stoop so low as to own a television set...would never understand this feeling

maybe it truly is a gift only bestowed on house wives (a title i am beginning to relish)

I love days of our lives....and i love watching the mid-day movies and then all the joys of a day spent at home.
I like it that i can have a little cry when something sad happens to your favourite character or the movie is just too beautiful...It's an empowering gift.

a gift i choose to embrace....and the rest of you can go fuck yourselves


i have had a very lovely morning.

I went to my melbourne relatives to learn how to make these really delicious bicuits.

This woman is quite amazing.

we whipped up a batch of biscuits....then sat down to have tea.

She asked if i would like a creme caramel...she had made them the night b4.

meanwhile, she had gotten up early to make me a lasagne to take home.

so while i was there, which was only a couple of hours, all this stuff was aparently going on....like her elderly mother slipped over at her house...her brother who is waiting for a liver transplant, has to have a biopsy....blablabla

poor woman...she is just frazzled.

i think she likes having me around coz its like something fun for her....an escape from the full-on ness of her life.

going over next wednesday too to learn how to make the creme caramels and stuff....and then go to the preston markets.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003


I was JB HI yesterday checking out cd's and found a band i'd never heard of called lupine howl. I am kazaaring as we speak.
on their web site there are some good reviws from NME.

today i somehow managed to get Red Door on me. I'm talking about the perfume. I guess its a hazard of working in the perfume biz.

I totally HATE red door.....

it really makes me want to vomit

i don't know how so many woman can wear it...and worst like it. YUCK!!!!!!!!

if your interested... my ALL NEW FAVOURITE PERFUME IS : 'KINGDOM' by Alexander McQueen.

its fucking gorgeous.

the bottle is also really cool.

ok speaking of perfume... here's my top 5

1. Boudoir by Vivienne Westwood
2. Kingdom by Alexander McQueen
3. Champagne/ Yvresse by Yves Saint Laurent
4. Lolita by Lolita Lempicka
5. Hypnotic Poison by Christian Dior

wait let's make it top 10

6. Chrysalid by Lancome
7. now or never by lancome
8. FRAGILE by J. P Gaultier
9. Flower by Kenzo
10. Jungle (elephant) by Kenzo

and the men's frangrances that make me swoon:

1. Roma by Laura Biagotti
2. Leau d'issey by Issey Miyake
3. A-men by Theirry Muglier
4. Swiss Army by Swiss Army
5. He by Armani

and that'll do

here's an article that's quite interesting

sunday may 25th

EUROVISION PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!

8.30PM

BE THERE












goodnight

i need to re-train the dogs.

i want to move their food to another spot and move their wizz mat to another spot too.


i figure its going to take a lot of treats and a few long days under a watchful eye.
but its very rewarding when it all works out and they do what you want.

Clea has started biting her nails....which is really odd.
i think i upset her when i went to perth for 5 days and didn't tell her.

she's been in a mood with me since i go back.

so you think its possible that she can read my mind?

like that we can communicat psychically?

like right now..as i was typing she all of a sudden woke up and turned over to look at me....and she's just staring at me.

and she sighs.

dogs aren't meant to sigh are they??

i love her so much.

how can such a little dog be such a big part of life?

and Io too.

she's a funny little thing.

i just love how thier personalities are so different.

clea is such a mamma's girl. she just loves to try and wind me up. despite her being a little little dog...she's very clever.

io just wants to cuddle and have everything clea has and try and get it all.

its like my relationship with my sister.

me fighting with my mum for my independance and all the while i am having to fight my little sister while she proves that she is just as valid as i am

i'm very tired...and talking rubbish

goodnight

well fuck me

i realise that i watch a lot of television....but i consider it a valid lifestyle choice.

It really shits me when people think they are so superior because they can say " oh i don't watch television..in fact i don't even watch a television"

fucking wankers.

well anyway, i'm watching the sopranos. I LOVE this show.

matt and i were talking about this comic i've been reading...it's called ALIAS

it's about jessica jones. she used to be a super hero you know like in the league of the fantastic four and the avengers....thor capt america etc

so anyway she quit the super hero gig to become a Private i

its very noir. especially for a Marvel comic.

we were talking about how Marvel seems to be trying to cash in on the whole bad ass gritty scene that vertigo etc have got going.

so apparently ALIAS is the first Marvel comic to have the word fuck in it.....in fact the first word in the comic is fuck.

but all this is somehow linked


ok i'm so distracted

i'm watching big brother up late

and they have a spa and a pool now...and Jo is sleazing onto patrick and ben....she flashed some serious nipple.....now she's all over ben...

its soooooooo hilarious i can't stop watching

what i love is that no matter where she goes the camera people always manage to focus on her breasts.

and she is always looking at teh camera.

Monday, May 19, 2003

wait...again

when i said suckin...i meant fucking

wait.

the trio are suckin hilarious "don't touch my magic bone"

hahahahahahaha

morning sunshines

i got season 6 of buffy the other day....so i have been having my own personal buffy fest.

these dvds are really cool.. lots of special features...i am just watching a panel discussion they did about season 6.

it's so interesting.

like james marsters....Spike...i love him LOVE HIM.

but he's got this big texan accent...which of course i knew about....but he's a big mouth.

but anyway, Joss is sooooooo clever.

i have now finished watching season 4 of angel....did i mention my love of Kazaar

crap gotta go out.

meeting up with my friend glenn. he's over here with his g/f donna

they are tops.

i love glenn
i used to work with him back in the intencity days...he's cool
funfunfun in a tall handsome package.

Donna wants to move here...i reckon they should.

workin on that plan

so anyway i had best get ready

Sunday, May 18, 2003

found this very intersting rant by some other guy


http://www.ideal.net.au/~robertsj/evil-triumphant.html